Memoirs have a hypnotizing power.
Something about their intimate and flexible style, which doesn’t just lay the facts out but also immerses the audience in the author’s lived experience, is magical. Just like many people can’t put a good memoir down, lots of us yearn for the freedom to tell our own story in our own words, too.
Unfortunately, writing a memoir is a lot harder than deciding you want to. Too many aspiring memoir writers give up. If you don’t want to be one of them, read on to discover the most common obstacles — and find out how to overcome them.
You’re not sure your story is interesting enough
Many people give up on writing their memoirs because they’re scared nobody will be interested in reading their stories. If this thought is blocking your path to writing a killer memoir, start by asking yourself these questions:
- What life experiences are you planning to write about? Are they objectively interesting to a wider audience?
- Who are you planning to write for? Some people write memoirs as a legacy to share within their own families without ever having any intention to publish them. Others would like to be traditionally published or plan to self-publish their memoirs.
- Who are you? Are you a public figure with an existing fan base or media attention, or someone who has not been in the public spotlight yet?
These questions will help you figure out if your story is interesting enough to be read. Publishers may not be interested in your memoir if you’re an ordinary person who has lived an ordinary life, but your grandchildren will.
You have a real shot at getting published if you have a remarkable story you think the world needs to hear, even if you’re very much not a public figure. (Take, for instance, Thick Skin: Field Notes from a Sister in the Brotherhood, written by female welder Hillary Peach. You’ve never heard of her name, but you can instantly see her story is worth reading.)
2. You’re filled with fear and self-doubt
Even aspiring memoir writers who know their stories are interesting enough to share with the world may be filled with fear and self-doubt. “Impostor Syndrome” or a lack of self-confidence can eat away at anyone, especially when it comes to something as intimate as a memoir.
In this case, the tip is to work on your self-confidence. Although reading lots of memoirs can make you a better memoir writer, you have to stop comparing yourself to others. Confidence coach Tiwalola Ogunlesi warned Hello Magazine readers that we all tend to get down on ourselves when we evaluate how we stack up to others.
Memoir writing isn’t about comparisons — it’s about telling your story in your words, uniquely and beautifully you. Try to let go of the pressure to be great while you’re writing your memoir, and instead be yourself.
3. You think you’re a bad writer
Do you know you have a compelling, thrilling, or genuinely important story to tell? Do you also have enough self-awareness to recognize that you’re a terrible writer? Are your talents in other areas?
That’s OK. Not everyone is naturally gifted with words, and not everyone has the time or desire to work on improving that skill. You still have a chance to craft an excellent memoir — with the help of a memoir ghostwriter.
Not everyone knows what memoir ghostwriters do, so it’s essential to realize that these professionals:
- Conduct deep background research, including by interviewing the author (that’s you, in this case) and other important people in their lives.
- Do investigative work to ensure your memoir is factually correct.
- Get to know you and your voice, and write your story as you would have if you were an amazing writer.
- Include you in the process every step of the way, leaving the creative direction of the memoir squarely in your hands.
If that sounds wonderful, it’s because it is!
4. You don’t have time
Do you practically work 24/7? That can get in the way of writing a memoir, but it makes sense. Some of the most interesting people are also incredibly hard workers.
You have two basic options if time is your biggest obstacle. Make time, or work with a ghostwriter. Both are valid choices, and it’s up to you which is the best way to go in your case.
5. You’re scared of the consequences of publishing a memoir
Memoir writers are the protagonists of their own stories but never the only characters. If you are to tell your story as you see it, you’ll inevitably write about other people in your life. That includes relatives, and the things you write won’t be sunshine and flowers all the time.
Publishing your memoir may lead to arguments, sadness, pain, and even the breakdown of some relationships. In extreme cases, someone featured in your memoir may even sue you.
The answer? Because this is a difficult question, it has multiple parts:
- Never only tell the story as you remember it. Memoir writers have a responsibility to incorporate rigorous fact-checking in their process. Memoirs allow you to share your experiences as you remember them, but it’s important to avoid slander or defamation.
- It helps to ask people heavily featured in your memoir to read it before it is published. Get their permission where possible, and give them a chance to share their take on the events described in your book.
- In some cases — when writing about abusive parents, terrible former employers, or a cult you left, for example — publishing a memoir inevitably leads to negative consequences. If the contents of your memoir are true and you’ve prepared yourself for the fallout, you may be ready to go ahead and publish your memoir.
Fear of negative consequences is perhaps the most significant obstacle to memoir writing, and it’s very real. Each writer has to decide whether their story is more important than the problems that may rain down on them when the memoir hits the shelves. Is the answer a resounding “yes”? Hold your head up high and be confident knowing you remained honest and authentic throughout the memoir.